When guys are in a dating funk or a cold streak, sometimes they just need to get out of their heads. They’re so busy being nervous or avoiding rejection that they miss all the signs that a woman’s into them. Granted, some women are more obvious than others, which can make the subtler signs tough to pick up.
To overcome this dilemma, men need to first focus on building their confidence. Building confidence is the most essential part of dating, it’s what will draw women to you. Later, to succeed with women in general, men should master the art of body language (more on that later). If only men knew the physiological changes that a woman experiences when she’s into you. Unfortunately, we’re built differently from men and you can’t see our erection. But what if I told you her breathing slows down, her lips get redder, and her nipples harden. How sexy is that?! It’s a serious buzz kill when we’re feeling this way and you’re completely dismissing us. Safe to say majority of the time men aren’t intentionally dismissing these moments, they’re just missing signs because they’re thinking, “why would she be into me?!”
Here are my top 3 crucial signs men miss when a woman is trying to show him she’s interested him…
1. BODY LANGUAGE
Women often use their body to communicate their emotions, thoughts, needs, and wants. It’s very important that men learn to understand a woman’s body language. One way to master this art is to start paying attention. Pay attention the same way you would when you’re watching a boxing fight. A true boxing fan pays attention to the body language of each fighter, to see if the fighter is tired, confident, calm, or panicking. Now, do it with women!
You’ll be gaining two brownie points when you are attentive. First, you’re mastering the art of reading a woman’s body language. Second, you’re paying attention to her and women can sense that! Suddenly, she’ll start throwing all the signs at you. These signs include; eye contact, looking down, caressing her shoulder or leg, walking over to you and invading your personal space (this is most common in bars and nightclubs), or my favorite, she’ll start speaking really loudly to her friends so you can hear her. These are all clear signs that she’s interested in you. A woman who isn’t interested will look up with her eyes, roll her eyes, and walk away.
And remember to remain confident when getting “the look” from a girl you like. Don’t look over your shoulder assuming she’s eyeing the guy behind you. If you do that, then you’re communicating to her that she deserves better and that maybe you’re not good enough. Meanwhile, this is your way of being shy, humble, or nervous. Try instead to meet her with a smile, and walk over to start a conversation.
If she’s talking to you, she’s into you. A woman who is interested will engage you constantly and consistently. If she’s reciprocating your interests, she’s interested in you. If she has high energy around you, she’s interested in you.
This was the solid giveaway for the guy I’m seeing. He’s shy and more of an introvert. I showed up super enthusiastic on our first date because I was excited to be there. I reciprocated his interests because I cared. Months down the line he told me that he had sent a picture of his new bike to a girl he was dating and she had replied with, “rad”. But when he sent me the bike photo I began to engage him with questions. My responses made him feel good but it also solidified to him that I’m interested. Luckily he was mature enough to pick up on these signals because it allowed the rest of our relationship to flow naturally. It would be confusing to me if he didn’t pick up on my social cues and continued to act aloof. (And remember, a woman will only try so hard before she moves on…)
Another, somewhat counterintuitive, sign for guys to pick up on is if she gets mad at you and calls you out. That’s a sign that she’s interested in you and she’s reacting to you. This is an opportunity you can use to get closer to one another instead of assuming she’s not interested. Keep talking! When you’re not talking is when you should be worried about her interest in you fizzling out.
3. ONLINE DATING
Signs and signals online can be tricky because, of course, body language is nonexistent. When you meet a woman online, all you’ve got is communication. If she’s not replying back to you then that’s your sign right there. Approach women with respect by sending a short, but sweet and thoughtful message. If you hear back, great! Here is where most guys go wrong online – the moment they hear back from a woman, they want to slide into home plate. Let me explain the bases in the online context, because I’ve adapted the baseball analogy to suit the online context.
First base online is that first message you send to one another. You send a message, she replies back... or not. Second base is asking for her number and texting her. Third base is calling her on the phone for a voice conversation (don’t be creepy and Facetime). Fourth base is meeting face to face in person. Capeesh?
When she replies back to you online that doesn’t mean it’s a clear sign for you to ask her out on a date (there you go again, sliding into home plate). It just means that you’ve captured her attention. Keep talking! Don’t stop! After a lengthy conversation, ask her for her number. Now text her!
After a lengthy text conversation, tell her that you’ll call her tomorrow after work. Be a man of your word and do call her precisely after work. After the call, tell her that you would love to meet her and ask her if she’s available. When setting a date, be sure to offer specific dates and times. I recommend you suggest weeknights instead of weekends. For people who live busy 9 to 5 lives, weekends are precious. It would be a gamble to spend it with a stranger vs. our friends and family. Thursdays are a great night for a first date. Offer to meet for happy hour or after dinner. Dinner is too lengthy a commitment with a stranger you’ve just met online.
There you have it gents, my 3 most important signs to lookout for from a woman’s perspective. But the most important advice I could ever give any person, male or female, is to really focus on your own individual value. Once you’ve gained full confidence in who you are then you’ll spend less time looking for signs and more effort into being who you are – that’s when the real magic happens. Real people gravitate towards authentic beings. I want you to develop into an authentic gentleman. Believe in yourself as a source of attraction and the women will follow.
Anna Kachikyan is a former TMZ on TV personality and now the creator and host of the live podcast, The Anna Report. Anna shares her uncensored dating and relationship advice with her loyal audience on Wednesdays at 6p PT/9p ET. Join her live on Facebook @annakachikyan!