1. firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something."relations have to be built on trust"
2. synonyms: confidence, belief, faith, certainty, assurance, conviction, credence; reliance "good relationships are built on trust"
Trust is simple.
In theory we have only to put our hearts into the hands of others and say, without question, I believe that you will do good by me. That's it. That action begins as something so elementary that the concept of a breaking of that eternal pact never crosses our minds. Not at first. It is only over the course of life, and living, that we find our belief in trust waning. We encounter our first obstacles in our relationships with loved ones, with friends, & with strangers who interact differently than we’ve come to know and expect. We begin to protect ourselves from the colors of emotion that are seemingly painted on us by the brushstrokes of others. We shy away from interaction based on the premise that we may, one day, be brushed aside again and thus we begin the race from ourselves to prevent others from catching us with their words.
Worried that words alone will ensnare us, imprisoning us within the same walls of belief in others that hurt so much before. We become slaves to others actions and to our own interminable mental investigating of others intentions. We are no longer free. We are trapped in our own minds, trying desperately to achieve the impossible goal of knowing the true nature of the person opposite us. To know, beyond the possibility of refute, the truth of the minds and actions that may soon outweigh their words, all so that we may be protected.
That, however, is the very best thing about giving someone that power. There is no absolute positivity in the realm of trust. That is what is beautiful, & exciting, & terrifying about it. Trust is one of the purest forms of LOVE in existence. Not forced trust, but a solid & unwavering belief, without certainty, that this is true. That this persons words do speak as loudly as their actions will. That beyond all, the intention of the one standing before you is to hold your heart in their hand and to do right by you. No matter how great or how small the power you’ve given them is, the very act of trusting at all, is an act of love. It is faith for the faithless, it is a belief in something beyond the maths and sciences of this world. It is the type of non-physical, indescribable beauty that begins an attempt to define this indefinable existence we all share.
There is nothing that hurts more than a pain you were sure would never come. There are few things as stunningly disappointing as witnessing the failure of someone you have invested your truth into to live up to the promises that they made, or the expectations you placed on them. As our emotions are calcified by the very flames that burn within us in outrage at our betrayer we must remember that we too have poured gasoline onto someone else’s fire. Try as we may to protect and to love with our best hearts, we have all hurt someone, whether with or without intention.
Do you remember the first time you put your trust in someone?
Do you remember the first time someone betrayed that trust?
Do you remember the first time you knew someone was putting their trust in you?
Do you remember whether or not you lived up to their expectations?
Do you remember the first time you knew you were going to let someone down, and did it anyway?
Do not answer out loud, but do not lie either. It seems an inevitable fact of life that we will both be let down, and let others down. How we choose to approach those choices, and how few and far between we make them, is up to us. How often it happens to us, we cannot choose. We can protect ourselves by looking honestly at the person or the situation, and hoping that our hearts will lead us forward. But knowing is not an option.
To trust not is to love not. Regardless of the colors I’ve been painted with during my life, my career, my relationships, I wouldn’t give any of it back to become a blank canvas.